Waiting for you

Sweet Baby Girl,

I can't wait to hold you in my arms. Even though we have seen a few glimpses of your beautiful face thanks to technology in just a few short weeks you will get to see mommy, daddy and your big sister face to face. Your sister talks about you all the time and often blows kisses just for you. She can't wait to have you here to hold and to hug. She talks of all the things she wants to do with you, like sharing her toys and having you sleep in her room. She wants to take you on walks, introduce you to all her family, let you play with all her puppies, and give you lots of kisses. You will have the best big sister in the world sweet baby! We are beyond excited for you to join our family!

I must admit that I am feeling anxious about the changes that are going to be happening soon. Change is good, frightening and exciting. Starting in January things will be a lot different than they ever have. I have no idea if Zachary will be here for the birth of our daughter. He will be gone for a lot of 2011 and honestly it scares to death to have to take care of 2 little girls by myself! When Em was born I had the blessing of being surrounded by family that would be able to help out on a moments notice. Now with being six hours away it is a little too far to ask them to come watch the girls for a few hours while I catch up on some much needed sleep. Thoughts of failure as a mom, wife and friend often come into my mind as I think of next year. Can I keep up with 2 little girls and their needs by myself, how do I take care my husband as he is away from his family and longs to be with us, and how to maintain friendships that are so desperately needed while Zachary is away.

Perspective is a wonderful thing however, I need to keep in mind that these changes are just mini-transitions. Some more difficult than others, but still. Transitions will happen, and they will be temporary. Time is held in the hand of the Almighty! Nothing is a surprise to Him! He knows everything and is Master of All! Even the small events that surround my life! He controls all of time and circumstances!

So instead of focusing on worry, the things I am anxious about and the small inconveniences of life like not giving birth when I want too, falling short as a wife, mother and friend and not being the person I hope to be at each moment I need to remember the things that I do have and MILLIONS of things I am thankful for! The beautiful assurance of my salvation! The people that are so important in my life. My beautiful, healthy family! The pursuit of becoming the person the Lord wants me to be! God is good. He is better than good. He is amazing. When I keep this perspective in mind everything else melts away!

Psalm 95:3-6

For the LORD is a great God,

and a great King above all gods.

In his hand are the depths of the earth;

the heights of the mountains are his also.

The sea is his, for he made it,

and his hands formed the dry land.

Oh come, let us worship and bow down;

let us kneel before the LORD, our Maker!